Thursday, March 31, 2011


I'm going away tonight for 3 nights.  By myself.  As in, without kids or a husband.  I will be on an airplane and in a hotel by myself.  I can play as many stupid games on the i-pod that I want.  I will be able to read a book and/or magazines.  I will be able to SLEEP...really, really sleep without having to get up multiple times a night for any odd number of reasons!  I will be able to take really long showers and watch a movie or tv or just SLEEP!  I'm so excited!

I'm also really anxious and kind of sad.  I know they are in perfectly capable hands with Jim.  They're actually probably thrilled since he is much more relaxed than myself.  But, I will miss my babies sooooo much!  It's such a ridiculous catch 22.  I am loving the idea and desperately in need of a break, and honestly I think they are going to love a break from me as well.  But I'm going to miss them, from the bottom of my heart.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

getting over it...

I want my kids to be confident.  Which is tough for me to "teach," because I'm still learning myself.  But they make me want to be better in a lot of ways and this is just one.  This week was tough - J was away, I had a lot of work to do, and the weather was chilly and really windy.  There weren't many opportunities to get the girls to the park.  One day we were coming home from the store and O asked if we could go to the park.  But A was crying because she was hungry, so I said "no, we have to go home so I can feed A."  So O sat for a minute and then said "can't you feed her at the park?"  Well, duh, right?  (Now if you know me - you know I'd have to bring this up at some point).

I didn't want to feed A at the park because I have to give her a bottle.  I was not able to fully breastfeed any of my kids.  To make a long story short - I had a surgery 10 years ago and never made enough milk.  So they all got what I could give and then I had to stop.  I've beaten myself up pretty good about this with all 3 babies, worst with E and ended up with postpartum depression.  Anyway, I was going to make my two older kids sit at home and not enjoy the nice afternoon at the park because I was afraid that I would have to explain to some random person why I have to give A a bottle and then feel bad and beat myself up and think I'm less of a mom (which I actually don't believe at all - but being questioned about it makes me go there).  So I sucked it up and went to the park.  And fed A a bottle.  And nobody gave me a dirty look or asked me why I wasn't breastfeeding my child.  And I felt good, because I pushed through an insecurity of mine for my kids.  And I am a good mom - because there are sooooo many ways to be a good mom - and for me - that day - it was taking them to the park.

Highlights of the week:

  • A has eczema.  It's not awful and we got a cream for it and now I just have to use tons of moisturizer on her.  Which is a given anyway since it is a desert out here.  She is also currently 13 lbs. 4 oz., making her my smallest baby.  A is almost 4 months old.  At 4 months, both O and E were around 17 lbs!  
  • I put mushrooms on O's dinner plate one night and she asked, "why do you keep giving me mushrooms?  I don't like them." So I said, "well, because they are a part of what we are having for dinner and I hope that one day you will try them again."  And after that I saw her eat one when she thought I wasn't looking.  Yay!  
  • Speaking of eating - I've been stepping up to the plate (pun intended) when J is gone and putting together some nice meals that the girls sometimes will pick at.
  • I took their toys away.  I told them if I had to clean up then the toys would be put out in the garage until they learned to clean up.  It took 3 nights of me cleaning up before they were really impacted by the loss of toys.  Which makes it clear to me that they have too many toys.  So I'm going to start the toy rotation thing - where I keep some of their toys out and then switch them around every few weeks.  And they're still not great at cleaning up.
  • A is very, very smiley.  Whenever I go in to get her after a nap or in the morning- she just lights up and starts kicking her feet.  It's pretty awesome.  And I've never worked so hard in my life to get someone to laugh - she's still stuck on the one little "Ha."
  • O has been writing her name like crazy.  She makes lots of cards and asks me to draw a heart and then writes her name all by herself.
  • Things E says: 
    • (while trying to figure out where a puzzle piece goes) wheh iz it now?
    • "me do yit" (about everything)
    • one of her favorite movies is "The Princess and the Frog," but she says: "Princess Focg."  Yes, it sounds like the other four letter f word.
    • she calls O - "Lie-ya"

Blossom is better than you are...

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

infant pattern baldness

Poor little A is losing her hair.  This is hard for me because when O and E were babies, my mom would tell me all the time that they would lose their hair...and they didn't I felt as though I proved her wrong and my kids don't lose their hair.  But A is.  And it's not nicely and all at once.  It's patches all over her head and then the new hair growing in is really light, so it makes the dark hair that is on the ends look misplaced.  I feel bad for her.  Of course she's super cute regardless.  Maybe it's good, because she's bound to have the same hair as her sisters and this will just make it easier for her to deal with the countless crazy hair days she will have.

"Is my hair going to be as crazy as yours one day?"

They do come by the crazy hair honestly (O and my mom - August 2009)

Memorable moments of the last two days (not great moments):

  • O literally lost.her.mind twice yesterday.  Once when we left the playground and then again when it was time to go to bed.  I've never seen such meltdowns.  
  • E cut her leg today.  It was very scary and humbling because it was my fault.  I left a small mirror (that I meant to bring down to the garage) propped against the couch upstairs and she broke it.  Thankfully it was just one bad scrape and no major damage done.  She was such a trooper - even when it hurt to get it cleaned and bandaged.  I think the princess band-aids that O got for her helped.
  • A moved into her own room.  It's sad that she is further away, but she is such a noisy sleeper and I think I was waking her up even though she was just stirring.  

Sunday, March 20, 2011

it's not a competition

How come the girls will happily and willingly clean up when J is the one asking?  I guess I could see that maybe it's because he's not the one constantly nagging and threatening to throw their things away if they don't pick them up.  So maybe I need to change my tactics.  But bottom line - J gets them to clean up and I get O saying, "I can't do alllll of this!!!" and E just completely ignoring me. 

On a funny note, O cracked me up today by reciting lines word-for-word along with the movie Monsters, Inc.  Admittedly they probably watch that movie too much.  But still hilarious. 

Thursday, March 17, 2011


Olivia got pretty deep on the way home from the park today.  She told me that she wants to stay little forever.  O: "I wish I could stay little forever"  Me: "Why?"  O: "So I can always play on the swings, and slide on the slides..." and then her voice trailed off and she stared wistfully out the window.  We had a bit of a discussion, where I explained how fun it is to grow up because you can drive a car and go to school (seriously...a few other random things, but that was what I came up with). 

This conversation made me really sad because 1. I wish she could stay little forever too, and 2. I never wanted to grow up.  Heck - I'm still adjusting to the idea!  I can remember sitting on the steps at my parents house crying and not wanting to go to bed because I didn't want to grow up and die.  I admit that I tend to jump to extremes.  I guess at least she wants to stay little because she doesn't want to miss fun stuff and not because she's dreading the bad maybe she's not as much like me as I fear. 

But I did encourage her to enjoy every minute of being little.  And I hope to enjoy every minute of her being little as well.

O - photo courtesy of herself

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

manners apply...

I have decided to start writing a blog...again...because there are people out there with some really cool blogs with memories about their kids and I'm jealous.  So I'm going to do it too.  And I'm really, really bad at baby books and my memory sucks.  My memory is even kind of a joke between J and I.  When we first started dating he took me to a hibachi place, you know, where they cook the food in front of you.  And I was so excited!  Because I had never been to one before.  So, a few weeks later we were at my parents house looking at old pictures and...there is a picture of me and my family...smiling, happy, enjoying a hibachi place in Disney World.  So you can see why I am a bit nervous that I'll forget the funny, amazing, infuriating, heartbreaking, and joyful day to day things about the girls.

Things I don't want to forget today:
  • O watching a burping montage on "America's Funniest Home Videos (I know- probably not the best choice for an almost 4 year old, but I selfishly couldn't listen to Kipper)."  When it was done she said "Wow, that was really funny.  They were burping and didn't even say 'excuse me!'.
  • E COVERED in tomato sauce and starting to use one of O's expressions "Mom, you gotta see this."  Although with E it sounded like "Mom, godda she iz."  And she was talking about how she threw her cup of milk on the floor.   
  •  O and E playing so nicely outside in the beautiful 80 degree weather - even though they were playing with water that O confiscated from the sink while I wasn't watching and they both ended up drenched.  But O said it was one of the most fun parts of the day - when they made rain - by wetting the barbie dolls hair and then shaking it around in the air.
  • A sitting in her bumbo seat.  Although I realize that she's probably not quite ready to hang out in it for very long.  She kind of bobs around in it.  But I didn't want to miss the window because I'm behind on realizing when to move to the next baby step.  Like when to switch to the next size diaper.  Note to self - move to a bigger diaper when you start to notice the diaper is more of a "bikini" style and before a huge blow out.

COVERED, right?
Just chillin...